Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize