first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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