yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
