Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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