I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
