Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
