Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
