If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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