found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
vagina is talking i cant
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
