he shaved USA in his pubs
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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