My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
