new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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