OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize