You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
