What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
