I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
