Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my shit smells like andre
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
