I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
