This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
