the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.