I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?