You're a womanizer and a bitch.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
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He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though