Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
