The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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