Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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