It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
