i don't like sucking hair
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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