I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I had to cum in my sink.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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