I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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