...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
