"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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