it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So vagazzling was a success
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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