I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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