She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
