why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
