But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am one with the molecules
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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