I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
