I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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