they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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