I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
