you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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