after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
