those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
