Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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