I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
