And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
