I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
