i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
