My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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