it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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