well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize