I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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