I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
