Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Every concussion has its silver lining
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
