You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
