as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
