just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
