I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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