We got so high we made milksteak
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize