Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
