Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
