is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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