Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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