were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
